Kopplin v. Quade

There once was a bovine ecstatic,
Who stooped to a deed morganatic.
This Holstein did breed
With trespassing seed,
For a measure of harm problematic.

Compare Kopplin v. Quade, 130 N.W. 511 (Wis. 1911), with Hall v. Umiker, 209 N.W.2d 361 (S.D.1973)
(discussing measure of damages for permitting trespassing animal to impregnate purebred cattle of different breed).

Youssoupoff v. Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Pictures, Ltd.

There’s a film about a Romanov princess,
Where she folds to the Mad Monk’s insistence.
But, in truth, there’s no disputin’
That she never met Rasputin,
So her suit for tarnished name met no resistance.

Youssoupoff v. Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Pictures, Ltd., 50 T.L.R. 581, 99 A.L.R. 864 (C.A. 1934)*
(defamatory statement does not require implication of moral fault).

Downs v. Hawley

There once was a man who would straddle,
The derrieres of some cattle.
But the claim he was bare,
In back of a mare,
A jury wrote off as mere prattle.

Downs v. Hawley, 112 Mass. 237 (1873)
(in defamation suit, proof of truth of related, but different, accusation is not defense).

Carsanaro v. Colvin

There once was a wife, and her paramour,
Who gave her a nasty herpetic sore.
Her spouse got it too;
And the Court let him sue,
‘Cause the spread you foresee, you must answer for.

Carsanaro v. Colvin, 716 S.E.2d 40 (N.C. Ct. App. 2011)
(liability for knowing spread of venereal disease).

Hellar v. Bianco

There once was a lavat’ry wall,
Which said, for a good time, to call….
The pub let it stand,
When she made her demand.
So, a jury, she got to appall.

Hellar v. Bianco, 111 Cal. App. 2d 424 (1952)
(premises liability for knowing republication of defamatory statement).

Doe v. Moe

In bed was a man and a beauty,
Who repositioned her booty.
She slipped while on top,
And made his prick pop.
The Court said, in sex, there's no duty.

Doe v. Moe, 827 N.E.2d 240 (Mass. App. Ct. 2005)
(no action for mere negligence involving consensual sexual activity).

Olier v. Bailey

There once were some geese in captivity,
And some had a dangerous proclivity.
So we needn't take gander,
Which goose won't unhand her.
What counts is the gaggle's activity.

Olier v. Bailey, (Miss. Dec. 11, 2014)
(under "one bite" rule, no need to show that specific goose that bit plaintiff had a history of dangerous activity).

Life Insurance Company of North America v. Evans

When my wolf mistook me for a snack,
It triggered my last heart attack.
Does a prior condition
Trump canine commission?
Insurance, please cut me some slack.

Life Ins. Co. v. Evans, 637 P.2d 806 (Mont. 1981).

Neiman-Marcus Co. v. Lait

There once were some models at Neiman,
And a guide said for cash they'd take seamen.
But the charge, while horrific,
Was so non-specific
That we won't see the guide as a demon.

Neiman-Marcus Co. v. Lait, 107 F.Supp. 96 (S.D.N.Y 1952)
(only individuals, and not a group, may be defamed).

Church of Scientology of Minnesota v. Minnesota State Medical Association Foundation

There once was a group, Scientology.
It complained we defamed its theology.
But the source of frustration
Was first publication.
And courts won't do paleontology.

Church of Scientology of Minn. v. Minn. State Med. Ass'n Found., 264 N.W.2d 152 (Minn. 1978)
(adopting "first publication" rule for running of statute of limitations)